Growing up, Im sure all of U have heard or received advice/s from someone and that you tell yourself that you will try your very best to follow that advice. I too have received advice/s as I am someone who always wants something to go MY way (not to mention im big headed and stubborn at times =)) my parents have always something to say. However, not all of their advices are sucked into my big head =D. Some
I just ignored “Masuk telinga kanan keluar telinga kiri”.Hehehe. But there is this one particular advice that I follow and hold it close to my heart up till today. It is an advice I received a few years back from my mother.
Mak pesan,
“Bila bercakap atau bergurau tu jaga-jaga. Jangan sampai kita kena mintak maaf dengan orang tu.”
Translation : Watch your mouth or you’ll be sorry. =D
Everyone has a different opinion or thoughts that make them unique and yes they are entitled to it but most of us do say things at one time or the other without thinking through properly and shoot off our mouths, especially when angry or if we get into an argument. Especially when it is someone you take for granted, you just pass your judgement and then expect things to go back to being normal not really thinking about the consequences of that one word spoken inappropriately.
Many different types of relationships are ruined by someone speaking their mind before evaluating and taking the time to listen rather than run their mouths. Whatever the relationship be it family, friendship or romantic all take the key words communication and understanding to get past any barriers holding the relationship back from moving forward. Words once spoken can never be taken back. Macam pepatah Melayu:
“Terlajak perahu boleh diundur. Terlajak kata, nahas jawabnya."
So, let’s see what words spoken unthinkingly can do.
Firstly, it cause unnecessary hurt….Sometimes words are said just said to create an impact, for one up man-ship during an argument. It can cause so much of hurt to the person one targets which could be irreparable. It may damage their psyche to a large extent and harm as the words are just said to attack another person or mainly to hurt them so that you can win.
Secondly, Regrets…. When you say things in anger without thinking through it can cause you so many regrets. You know you have caused hurt to someone you care about and that makes you regret what you did. You will have to live with the regret of hurting the person you love. That’s not too good a feeling is it?
Thirdly, it destroys relationships… Hmm this sure does happen. A fairly good relationship can just be destroyed in minutes by some unthinking unfeeling words one utters .Even though some relationships may carry on n people may forgive loved ones for rash words spoken, a lot of relationships do end because of harsh, hurtful words spoken. A lot of marriages end in divorce, lots of friendships because of situations as this.(Trust me, I’ve been there).
Fourth, it kills the soul. Well too harsh maybe but it does kill the soul. People who are targeted will keep these words in their hearts forever. It could destroy their self beliefs, their self esteem, the way they look at themselves, the way they look at life. What made them bright n sparkly once may start to fade because of a few harshly spoken words. Its a horrible feeling isn’t it??It kinda stuck in your mind forever even though you tried your very best to erase it.
And lastly, Appearances …Sometimes your words can change the way people think about you too.. You may be viewed as the nicest person known till your words completely change the way people think about you. When you speak rudely, harshly out of the top of your head you may come out looking the meanest and most selfish person known An image of you is formed at that very instant.
Speaking without thought is a real bad idea for it destroys and creates more trouble than it’s worth. So, if you don’t have anything good to say, then its best to remain silent because each word holds a wealth of meanings, it is attached to a lot of feelings and can either make or destroy both you and the person you speak it to.
So, before you speak think-is it necessary? Is it true? Is it kind? Will it hurt anyone? Will it improve on the silence…… for “When words are scarce they are seldom spent in vain”.
